I have had a lifelong interest in corporal punishment and I had been aware of Lady Pandora's reputation in the scene for a few years. I was confident that Lady Pandora would be a strong but sane disciplinarian and when I saw the description of Lifestyle Programmes on Lady Pandora's website the idea really connected with me.
I read all the e-mails in the Sanctum and I really 'got' Lady Pandora's explanation of the difference between role play punishments (which I had done plenty of over the years), real discipline (which is what I yearned for) and Judicial CP (which is not something for me). I really understood that true punishment must be a deterrent and something that I would want to avoid.
When I spoke to Lady Pandora on the telephone she was extremely friendly and it reinforced my view that Lady Pandora was the Disciplinarian for me. Lady Pandora suggested that I set out some of my thoughts in an e-mail and we arranged an appointment.
A few days later the time of the appointment arrived and I found myself nervously knocking on Lady Pandora's door.
Over the obligatory cup of tea we had a general chat about life in general, experiences of Discipline and gardening. After a very pleasant chat we moved on to discuss my Lifestyle Programme.
Over the years I have met a number of 'business coaches' and quite frankly Lady Pandora leaves them all in the shade even before you take account of Lady P's additional range of incentives. We talked at length about the areas in which I wanted to improve. There are a number of separate threads to what I want to achieve but they boil down to one or two underlying themes. I want to stress that we were not role playing at this and Lady Pandora had some excellent insights and strategies for things I should be doing. Crucially, the plans were reduced to specific and measurable tasks that I was required to do.
With the plan formed, we spoke about the Discipline. Lady Pandora told me that I am expected to do what I have promised to do and that I am expected to provide at least weekly reports on my progress and I would be answerable to Lady Pandora at my next session if I fail. It was made clear to me that any punishment would be strict, very painful and deeply unpleasant.
I was then invited to go to the Punishment Room to get a taste of what things will be like if I fail to keep to my plan.
The Punishment Room will be familiar to many people reading this. Lady Pandora became noticeably more businesslike as I was asked to take off my shoes and trousers and 'make myself comfortable' over the whipping bench. Lady Pandora asked if I wanted to be free to move about or fastened down fully. Ordinarily, I like to have my hands free because it makes me feel I can get out if needed but this time I asked to be fully fastened down.
Once fastened to the bench I was going nowhere. My pants were taken down and Lady Pandora fetched a nasty looking dark brown cane. Lady Pandora told me that this was a Punishment cane and I would receive six strokes. The strokes would be very painful but I should be in no doubt that if I fail in my tasks then next time the strokes would be much much worse for me.
I braced myself as the first stroke was delivered. And yes, it was very very painful. I have always found the second stroke to be worse than the first and as the stroke landed I let out a loud yelp. Lady Pandora calmly told me that I must take the caning stoically or it would start again - this was very effective in keeping me quiet from then on. As the six strokes were given to me Lady Pandora encouraged me to breathe slowly and deeply. I was also reminded that the strokes will be much much worse if I am being being properly punished.
After the six strokes to demonstrate the Punishment cane Lady Pandora caned me with some other canes ranging from whippy to thuddy. I was also given a spanking with a leather strap. Throughout this part of the session Lady Pandora gave me words of encouragement, reminders to breathe slowly and deeply and (more worryingly) reminders that it would all be much worse in a proper punishment.
When Lady Pandora judged I had been given sufficient incentive I was given my last batch of strokes. Naturally, I was reminded that the last stroke is always the hardest and, true to her word, Lady Pandora landed a real sizzler.
It took a while to get over the caning and I was feeling a little spacey from the experience. Lady Pandora gave me a hug and we stayed in the Punishment Room for some time whilst I recomposed myself. Eventually, we went back to the sitting room for another cup of tea and some chocolate biscuits. Biscuits had never tasted so good and Lady Pandora brought me back to Earth very slowly and very patiently. Eventually, I was in a fit enough state to drive and I headed off.
So where does that leave me? It took quite a few days to really absorb what had happened in the session. I don't mean the physical caning but the whole emotional side of things. For me, the key is that Lady Pandora is taking a genuine interest in my Programme and she cares enough to keep me on the straight and narrow and will punish me if I fail.
I'm now part way through my first week and I am determined to keep on track. There have been a few nags and snags as things settle down but I have kept up to date with everything I promised. I'm currently arranging my next appointment with Lady Pandora which will be in about six or seven weeks. The thought of being punished is genuinely acting as a positive incentive. I am determined to keep on track, not just because I want to avoid a nasty punishment but also because I don't want to let down Lady Pandora.
Lady Pandora says:
As you can see, my Bespoke Programmes are real and they work very effectively. I put a lot of thought and work into the Programmes to ensure that they are realistic in the targets set and, with hard work from the other party, they will be successful.
Anyone signing up to a Programme is expected to immediately let me know if they hit a snag so that we can find a way around it; they are expected to communicate with me and update me on a regular basis so that I can make adjustments if required.
One very important observation that Adam makes is with regard to Punishments. This is what really differentiates the Programmes from role-plays - Punishments are to be avoided wherever possible! The objective is to reinforce positive behaviour and achievements and Punishments are only given when necessary; but they are always given when necessary! They are also realistic and commensurate with the Programme and the abilities of the recipient. Trust me when I say that they are not pleasant; but this is on a psychological level as well as a physical one - the people undertaking the Programmes know how much work and effort I put in and really do not want to let me down.
It is now a little over a month since my first appointment with Lady Pandora. I wrote in detail about that session but the essence is that I agreed a set of targets and objectives with Lady Pandora and was then given a maintenance caning to teach me what happens if I do not keep my promises. Lady Pandora went to great lengths to point out to me that the caning I was being given was nowhere near as bad as a proper punishment. Accordingly, I left the first session determined to do whatever it takes to avoid a full punishment.
So how have things gone?
That first caning gave me a real feeling of a fresh start and revitalised my attitude. Over the last month I have dutifully reported my progress to Lady Pandora. In return, Lady Pandora has made lots of incredibly useful suggestions and has given me lots of genuine help and encouragement along the way. Whilst I want to stress again that this is not a role play, and we are dealing with genuine issues, the praise and encouragement from Lady Pandora has had the same comforting feel as praise from a kindly but strict schoolteacher.
Some of my objectives are straightforward and some are quite complex and involve getting other people to co-operate. With some I have had 100% success but some are proving trickier.
After a month of good intentions, over the last few days it has become just that little bit harder to stick to my rules. All my previous resolutions in the past have floundered around this stage and I started to feel it is time for a fresh start. I had a second appointment in the diary with Lady Pandora but that felt like a long time away and I really didn't want to get to the stage where a full on punishment was inevitable. Lady Pandora thinks that we need to nip things in the bud and so we have brought forward my second session to next week.
Lady Pandora is aware of the extent of what has worked well and what still needs attention. We will be reviewing my progress and I don't know whether I am going to be given a punishment or a maintenance caning. I will have to accept whatever is coming to me. What I do know is that I am looking forward to wiping the slate clean and starting afresh albeit with a sore bottom for the journey home.
Lady Pandora says:
Firstly I have to say that Adam has set himself some quite high targets and, as he has said, some aspects are quite complex. In addition, we are working on several aspects and not just one issue.
Taking this into account, I have to say that Adam is doing incredibly well. His determination and dedication is a real credit to him and despite his current feelings, he hasn't actually 'failed' in any aspect, even though he isn't doing quite as well in some areas as we would like. Adam is keeping a daily diary and is quite meticulous in his attention to detail. He also sends me a weekly Report, summarising how he is doing.
The most important thing is that he is being completely honest with both himself and me. Without this honesty it just would not work. Another thing to bear in mind is that the success of Adam's Programme has repercussions in both his private and his business lives and he has shown an inordinate amount of trust in allowing me knowledge of both.
We are all human; we are none of us perfect. The reason the Programmes work is because they are based on realistic targets and, with hard work and determination, they are all achievable. However, if someone stumbles, they need me to be supportive, understanding, helpful, yet still answerable to. This, as Adam says, is real life, not a role-play. I don't stomp around making unrealistic demands; I don't give interminable lectures. I re-enforce, support and help.
Anyone undergoing a Bespoke Programme with me knows full well that if they fail, they will pay the price; I don't need to constantly remind them of it. The thought of disappointing me is also a strong incentive to succeed! They also know that being part of a Programme means that I am always there to help; it's not a case of you don't hear from me until your next session! People can email and phone me and I will do my best to help them.